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Five Good Things about Conflict

Conflict: Five Responses to Any Issue

Where people interact, conflict occurs.

"Researchers found that, on average, parents have 2,184 arguments with their kids yearly. Each day they spend about 49 minutes fighting." Yahoo

  1. The average employee spends 2.1 hours a week dealing with disagreements.

  2. 27 percent of employees have seen tensions escalate to personal attacks.

  3. 54 percent of employees believe managers could handle disputes better. (Workplace conflict)

Photo of a cat with the words, Hotheads have closed hearts.


Too Little Conflict

Organizations that fight all the time are distracted and paralyzed.

Organizations that have no disagreements are avoiding issues.

When everyone gets along, someone is faking.

Fear of disagreements does not solve issues. It prolongs them.

People who skirt tough issues choose the easy path instead of the right path.


Five Responses to Any Issue


1. Open Your Mouth to Make Things Better

  1. When you are unsure if words are helpful, stop talking.
  2. Always seek the best interest of others.
  3. Temper aggression with kindness.
  4. Avoid defensiveness. People who need to be right need others to be wrong.
  5. Apologize quickly.
  6. Define issues and design solutions.
  7. Show respect to yourself and others.


2. Choose Positive Outcomes

Do not start arguing until you define a win that suits all participants.

Know what you are fighting for.

Questions:

  1. What do we want?
  2. If this conversation goes well, what will be true?
  3. If we resolve this tension, what will be different?


3. A Little Progress is Better Than None

Reject the need for perfect solutions.

Questions

  1. What does better look like?
  2. What's a small thing that will make a big difference?


4. Ask Questions Before Making Statements

Hot heads have closed hearts.

Curiosity heads for the door when emotions get hot.

Better to ask a stupid question than make a stupid statement.


5. Be Specific

Generalities do not solve specificities.

Ambiguous solutions cause more conflict.

Working harder is not a solution to missing a specific target.

Which of the above responses would most help you?

What would you add to the above list?