What Is Interpersonal Communication?
Communication Climate
Do you feel organized or confined in a clean workspace? Are you more productive when the sun is shining than when it's gray and cloudy outside? Just as factors like weather and physical space impact us, communication climate influences our interpersonal interactions. Communication climate is the "overall feeling or emotional mood between people". If you dread visiting your family during the holidays because of tension between you and your sister, or look forward to dinner with friends because they make you laugh, you are responding to the communication climate—the mood created by the people involved and their communication styles. Let's look at two types of communication climates: Confirming and Disconfirming climates.
Interpersonal Communication Now
“Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones But Words Can Hurt Me Too”
In a study published in Science, researchers reported that the sickening feeling we get when socially rejected (being ignored at a party or passed over when picking teams) is real. When researchers measured brain responses to social stress, they found a pattern similar to what occurs in the brain during physical pain. Specifically, "the area affected is the anterior cingulate cortex, a part of the brain known to be involved in the emotional response to pain" (Fox). Matt Lieberman, a social psychologist at UCLA who conducted the study, explained, "It makes sense for humans to be programmed this way... Social interaction is important to survival."
Confirming and Disconfirming Climates
Positive and negative climates can be understood along three dimensions: recognition, acknowledgement, and endorsement. We experience Confirming Climates when we receive messages that affirm our value and worth from others. Conversely, we experience Disconfirming Climates when we receive messages that suggest we are devalued and unimportant. Confirming climates foster emotional safety and relational growth, while disconfirming climates do the opposite. Let's look at the three message types that create confirming and disconfirming climates:
- Recognition Messages: These messages confirm or deny another person's existence. For example, if a friend enters your home and you smile, hug them, and say, "I'm so glad to see you," you are confirming their existence. Conversely, if you say "good morning" to a colleague and they ignore you by walking out of the room without responding, they are creating a disconfirming climate by not recognizing you as a unique individual.
- Acknowledgement Messages: These messages go beyond mere recognition by confirming what someone says or how they feel. Nodding while listening or laughing at a funny story are examples of nonverbal acknowledgement. If a friend tells you she had a tough day and you respond, "Yeah, that sounds hard. Do you want to talk about it?" you’re acknowledging her feelings. In contrast, if you respond with, "That's nothing. Listen to what happened to me," you ignore her experience and prioritize your own.
- Endorsement Messages: These messages validate a person’s feelings as legitimate. Suppose a friend comes to you upset after an argument. If you respond, "I can see why you’d feel that way," you’re endorsing his emotions. But if you respond with, "Get over it. At least you have a girlfriend," you invalidate his feelings. Allowing people to own their emotions without judgment creates a supportive climate, providing a safe space for them to process their experiences.
Now that you understand the role of self-disclosure in forming interpersonal relationships and the importance of communication climates, let’s briefly explore the characteristics of three primary interpersonal relationships: Friendships, Romantic Relationships, and Family Relationships.