Conflict Management Strategies
Read this chapter, which defines conflict, describes various conflict styles, and offers effective conflict management strategies. Try to answer some of the exercise questions at the bottom of each section.
Conflict in the Work Environment
Learning Objective
- Understand evaluations and criticism in the workplace, and discuss several strategies for resolving workplace conflict.
The
word "conflict" produces a sense of anxiety for many people, but it is
part of the human experience. Just because conflict is universal does
not mean that we cannot improve how we handle disagreements,
misunderstandings, and struggles to understand or make ourselves
understood. Hocker and Wilmot offer us several
principles on conflict that have been adapted here for our discussion:
- Conflict is universal.
- Conflict is associated with incompatible goals.
- Conflict is associated with scarce resources.
- Conflict is associated with interference.
- Conflict is not a sign of a poor relationship.
- Conflict cannot be avoided.
- Conflict cannot always be resolved.
- Conflict is not always bad.
Conflict
is the physical or psychological struggle associated with the
perception of opposing or incompatible goals, desires, demands, wants,
or needs. When incompatible goals, scarce
resources, or interference are present, conflict is a typical result,
but it doesn't mean the relationship is poor or failing. All
relationships progress through times of conflict and collaboration. How
we navigate and negotiate these challenges influences, reinforces, or
destroys the relationship. Conflict is universal, but how and when it
occurs is open to influence and interpretation. Rather than viewing
conflict from a negative frame of reference, view it as an opportunity
for clarification, growth, and even reinforcement of the relationship.
Conflict Management Strategies
As professional communicators, we can acknowledge and anticipate that conflict will be present in every context or environment where communication occurs, particularly in groups. To that end, we can predict, anticipate, and formulate strategies to address conflict successfully. How you choose to approach conflict influences its resolution. Joseph DeVito offers us several conflict management strategies that we have adapted and expanded for our use.
Avoidance
You may choose to change the subject, leave the room, or not even enter the room in the first place, but the conflict will remain and resurface when you least expect it. Your reluctance to address the conflict directly is a normal response, and one which many cultures prize. In cultures where independence is highly valued, direct confrontation is more common. In cultures where the community is emphasized over the individual, indirect strategies may be more common. Avoidance allows for more time to resolve the problem, but can also increase costs associated with problem in the first place. Your organization or business will have policies and protocols to follow regarding conflict and redress, but it is always wise to consider the position of your conversational partner or opponent and to give them, as well as yourself, time to explore alternatives.
Defensiveness Versus Supportiveness
Gibb discussed defensive and supportive communication interactions as part of his analysis of conflict management. Defensive communication is characterized by control, evaluation, and judgments, while supportive communication focuses on the points and not personalities. When we feel judged or criticized, our ability to listen can be diminished, and we may only hear the negative message. By choosing to focus on the message instead of the messenger, we keep the discussion supportive and professional.
Face-Detracting and Face-Saving
Communication
is not competition. Communication is the sharing of understanding and
meaning, but does everyone always share equally? People struggle for
control, limit access to resources and information as part of
territorial displays, and otherwise use the process of communication to
engage in competition. People also use communication for collaboration.
Both competition and collaboration can be observed in group
communication interactions, but there are two concepts central to both:
face-detracting and face-saving strategies.
Face-detracting
strategies involve messages or statements that take away from the
respect, integrity, or credibility of a person. Face-saving strategies
protect credibility and separate message from messenger. For example,
you might say that "sales were down this quarter," without specifically
noting who was responsible. Sales were simply down. If, however, you
ask, "How does the sales manager explain the decline in sales?" you have
specifically connected an individual with the negative news. While we
may want to specifically connect tasks and job responsibilities to
individuals and departments, in terms of language each strategy has
distinct results.
Face-detracting strategies often produce a
defensive communication climate, inhibit listening, and allow for little
room for collaboration. To save face is to raise the issue while
preserving a supportive climate, allowing room in the conversation for
constructive discussions and problem-solving. By using a face-saving
strategy to shift the emphasis from the individual to the issue, we
avoid power struggles and personalities, providing each other space to
save face.
In collectivist cultures,
where the community well-being is promoted or valued above that of the
individual, face-saving strategies are common communicative strategies.
Groups are valued, and the role of the individual is de-emphasized. In
Japan, for example, to confront someone directly is perceived as
humiliation, a great insult. In the United States, greater emphasis is
placed on individual performance, and responsibility may be more
directly assessed. If our goal is to solve a problem, and preserve the
relationship, then consideration of a face-saving strategy should be one
option a skilled business communicator considers when addressing
negative news or information.
Empathy
Communication involves not only the words we write or speak, but how and when we write or say them. The way we communicate also carries meaning, and empathy for the individual involves attending to this aspect of interaction. Empathetic listening involves listening to both the literal and implied meanings within a message. For example, the implied meaning might involve understand what has led this person to feel this way. By paying attention to feelings and emotions associated with content and information, we can build relationships and address conflict more constructively. In management, negotiating conflict is a common task and empathy is one strategy to consider when attempting to resolve issues. We can also observe that inherent in the group development process is the presence of conflict. It is not a sign of bad things to come, nor a reason to think something is wrong. Conflict is a normal part of communication in general, and group communication in particular. In fact, conflict can be the antidote to groupthink, and help the group members refrain from going along with the flow, even when reason or the available information indicated otherwise.
Gunnysacking
Bach
and Wyden discuss gunnysacking (or backpacking) as the imaginary bag we
all carry, into which we place unresolved conflicts or grievances over
time. If your organization has gone through a merger, and your business
has transformed, there may have been conflicts that occurred during the
transition. Holding onto the way things used to be can be like a stone
in your gunnysack, and influence how you interpret your current context.
People
may be aware of similar issues but might not know your history, and
cannot see your backpack or its contents. For example, if your previous
manager handled issues in one way, and your new manage handles them in a
different way, this may cause you some degree of stress and
frustration. Your new manager cannot see how the relationship existed in
the past, but will still observe the tension. Bottling up your
frustrations only hurts you and can cause your current relationships to
suffer. By addressing, or unpacking, the stones you carry, you can
better assess the current situation with the current patterns and
variables.
We learn from experience, but can distinguish between
old wounds and current challenges, and try to focus our energies where
they will make the most positive impact.
Managing Your Emotions
Have
you ever seen red, or perceived a situation through rage, anger, or
frustration? Then you know that you cannot see or think clearly when you
are experiencing strong emotions. There will be times in the work
environment when emotions run high, and your awareness of them can help
you clear your mind and choose to wait until the moment has passes to
tackle the challenge.
"Never speak or make decision in anger" is
one common saying that holds true, but not all emotions involve fear,
anger, or frustration. A job loss can be a sort of professional death
for many, and the sense of loss can be profound. The loss of a colleague
to a layoff while retaining your position can bring pain as well as
relief, and a sense of survivor's guilt. Emotions can be contagious in
the workplace, and fear of the unknown can influence people to act in
irrational ways. The wise business communicator can recognize when
emotions are on edge in themselves or others, and choose to wait to
communicate, problem-solve, or negotiate until after the moment has
passed.
Evaluations and Criticism in the Workplace
Guffey wisely notes that Xenophon, a Greek philosopher, once said "The sweetest of all sounds is praise". We have seen previously that appreciation, respect, inclusion, and belonging are all basic human needs across all contexts, and are particularly relevant in the workplace. Efficiency and morale are positively related, and recognition of good work is important. There may come a time, however, when evaluations involve criticism. Knowing how to approach this criticism can give you peace of mind to listen clearly, separating subjective, personal attacks from objective, constructive requests for improvement. Guffey offers us seven strategies for giving and receiving evaluations and criticism in the workplace that we have adapted here.
Listen Without Interrupting
If
you are on the receiving end of an evaluation, start by listening
without interruption. Interruptions can be internal and external, and
warrant further discussion. If your supervisor starts to discuss a point
and you immediately start debating the point in your mind, you are
paying attention to yourself and what you think they said or are going
to say, and not that which is actually communicated. This gives rise to
misunderstandings and will cause you to lose valuable information you
need to understand and address the issue at hand.
External
interruptions may involve your attempt to get a word in edgewise, and
may change the course of the conversation. Let them speak while you
listen, and if you need to take notes to focus your thoughts, take clear
notes of what is said, also noting points to revisit later. External
interruptions can also take the form of a telephone ringing, a "text
message has arrived" chime, or a co-worker dropping by in the middle of
the conversation.
As an effective business communicator, you know
all too well to consider the context and climate of the communication
interaction when approaching the delicate subject of evaluations or
criticism. Choose a time and place free from interruption. Choose one
outside of the common space where there may be many observers. Turn off
your cell phone. Choose face to face communication instead of an
impersonal email. By providing a space free of interruption, you are
displaying respect for the individual and the information.
Determine the Speaker's Intent
We have discussed previews as a normal part of conversation, and in this context they play an important role. People want to know what is coming and generally dislike surprises, particularly when the context of an evaluation is present. If you are on the receiving end, you may need to ask a clarifying question if it doesn't count as an interruption. You may also need to take notes, and write down questions that come to mind to address when it is your turn to speak. As a manager, be clear and positive in your opening and lead with praise. You can find one point, even if it is only that the employee consistently shows up to work on time, to highlight before transitioning to a performance issue.
Indicate You Are Listening
In mainstream U.S. culture, eye contact is a signal that you are listening and paying attention to the person speaking. Take notes, nod your head, or lean forward to display interest and listening. Regardless of whether you are the employee receiving the criticism or the supervisor delivering it, displaying of listening behavior engenders a positive climate that helps mitigate the challenge of negative news or constructive criticism.
Paraphrase
Restate the main points to
paraphrase what has been discussed. This verbal display allows for
clarification and acknowledges receipt of the message.
If you are
the employee, summarize the main points and consider steps you will
take to correct the situation. If none come to mind, or you are nervous
and are having a hard time thinking clearly, state out loud the main
point and ask if you can provide solution steps and strategies at a
later date. You can request a follow-up meeting if appropriate, or
indicate you will respond in writing via email to provide the additional
information.
If you are the employer, restate the main points to
ensure that the message was received, as not everyone hears everything
that is said or discussed the first time it is presented. Stress can
impair listening, and paraphrasing the main points can help address this
common response.
If You Agree…
If an apology is well deserved, offer it. Communicate clearly what will change or indicate when you will respond with specific strategies to address the concern. As a manager you will want to formulate a plan that addresses the issue and outlines responsibilities as well as time frames for corrective action. As an employee you will want specific steps you can both agree on that will serve to solve the problem. Clear communication and acceptance of responsibility demonstrates maturity and respect.
If You Disagree…
If
you disagree, focus on the points or issue and not personalities. Do
not bring up past issues and keep the conversation focused on the task
at hand. You may want to suggest, now that you better understand their
position, a follow-up meeting to give you time to reflect on the issues.
You may want to consider involving a third party, investigating to
learn more about the issue, or taking time to cool off.
Do not
respond in anger or frustration; instead, always display
professionalism. If the criticism is unwarranted, consider that the
information they have may be flawed or biased, and consider ways to
learn more about the case to share with them, searching for a mutually
beneficial solution.
If other strategies to resolve the conflict
fail, consider contacting your Human Resources department to learn more
about due process procedures at your workplace. Display respect and
never say anything that would reflect poorly on yourself or your
organization. Words spoken in anger can have a lasting impact, and are
impossible to retrieve or take back.
Learn from the Experience
Every
communication interaction provides an opportunity for learning if you
choose to see it. Sometimes the lessons are situational, and may not
apply in future contexts. Other times the lessons learned may well serve
you across your professional career. Taking notes for yourself to
clarify your thoughts, much like a journal, serve to document and help
you see the situation more clearly.
Recognize that some aspects
of communication are intentional, and may communicate meaning, even if
it is hard to understand. Also know that some aspects of communication
are unintentional, and may not imply meaning or design. People make
mistakes. They say things they should not have said. Emotions are
revealed that are not always rational, and not always associated with
the current context. A challenging morning at home can spill over into
the work day and someone's bad mood may have nothing to do with you.
Team members aren't always the same day to day, and the struggles
outside of the work environment can impact the group.
Try to distinguish between what you can control and what you cannot, and always choose professionalism.
Key Takeaway
- Conflict is unavoidable and can be opportunity for clarification, growth, and even reinforcement of the relationship.
Exercise
-
Write a description of a situation you recall where you came into
conflict with someone else. It may be something that happened years ago,
or a current issue that just arose. Using the principles and strategies
in this section, describe how the conflict was resolved, or could have
been resolved. Discuss your ideas with your classmates.
- Of the
strategies for managing conflict described in this section, which do you
think are the most effective? Why? Discuss your opinions with a
classmate.
- Can you think of a time when a conflict led to a new
opportunity, better understanding, or other positive result? If not,
think of a past conflict and imagine a positive outcome. Write a 2–3
paragraph description of what happened, or what you imagine could
happen. Share your results with a classmate.