Resolving Conflict
Read this blog, where the author explains that negotiators should define and express their self-interests, enlarged interests, enlightened interests, and aligned interests, so each side in the dispute can arrive at a common point of understanding. This way, they can identify a common path forward that is mutually beneficial. Negotiators can create amenable solutions when they understand what each party wants to achieve.
Most people do not
enjoy conflict and want highly contentious situations to resolve
themselves. Sometimes this works and some times it ends in chaos. I
am convinced that to be a successful CIO, you must embrace conflict.
Here's the approach I use to resolving conflict.
1.
Listen before talking. I find that many conflicts are the result of
poor communication. Just understanding the issue deeply can resolve
many conflicts. Being proactive by learning more about controversial
situations early in the conflict is much easier than getting involved
after the situation escalates.
2. Never use email to resolve
complex issues. Anytime I receive more than 3 successive email
exchanges about an issue, I call a "time out" and schedule a meeting or
conference call.
3. Pick up the phone to diffuse emotion.
Anytime I receive an emotional email, I do not respond via email. I
pick up the phone, even if I know the conversation will be painful.
Most people react differently in a person to person conversation than in
email.
4. Never send an emotional email or make an emotional
statement. If I ever feel a negative emotion while writing an email, I
save as draft. Although an emotional email may feel like an effective
weapon, it only wins the battle not the war. Emails last forever, can
be circulated widely and make conflict resolution much harder in the
long run. My experience with emotion, written or spoken, is that no one
who responds to any issue with anger looks good while doing it. Those
with polished executive presence are always emotionally neutral when
dealing with conflict.
5. Talk a walk in the woods, a technique
named after a famous story in which international negotiators at
loggerheads over a nuclear arms treaty went for a walk in the woods near
Geneva and discovered common interests that led to new solutions.
Step one: self interests. Each participant articulates his or her view of key problems, issues, and options. Stakeholders are encouraged to actively listen, question, and interact with one another.
Step two: enlarged interests. The participants reframe their understanding of current problems and possible options with a wider perspective, based on the integrative listening and confidence-building that occurred in step one.
Step three: enlightened interests. The group is ready to engage in innovative thinking and problem-solving, generating ideas and perspectives that had not previously been considered.
Step four: aligned interests. Participants build common ground perspectives, priorities, action items, agreement, or plans for moving forward. Depending on the scope of the intended objectives, at this point they recognize the tangible contributions and opportunities accomplished through the meeting.
My "walks in the woods" usually take place at the Elephant Walk Restaurant on Beacon Street in Boston, so if you ever see someone dressed in all black eating a vegan meal at the Elephant Walk, it's a good guess that I'm resolving conflict!
Source: John D. Halamka, http://geekdoctor.blogspot.com/2007/12/resolving-conflict.html
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