Gender Communication

In this section, we discuss how gender is dynamic, social, symbolic, and cultural. Gender is dynamic, not just because it exists on a plane, but because its meanings change over time within different cultural contexts. In 1907, for example, women in the United States did not have the legal right to vote, let alone the option of holding public office. Although a few worked outside the home, middle class white women were expected to marry and raise children. A woman who worked, did not marry, and had no children was considered unusual, if not an outright failure. Now, of course, women have the right to vote and are considered an important voting block. There are many women who are members of local and state governing bodies as well as the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives, even though they aren't representative in government of their 51 percent of the population. Similarly, men were also prescribed to fill a role by society one hundred years ago: wage earner. Men were discouraged from being too involved in the raising of children, let alone being stay-at-home dads. Increasingly, men are accepted as suitable child-care providers and have the option to stay home and raise children.

As a social construct, gender is learned, symbolic, and dynamic. We say that gender is learned because we are not born knowing how to act masculine or feminine, as a man or a woman, or even as a boy or a girl. Just as we rely on others to teach us basic social conventions, we also rely on others to teach us how to look and act like our gender. Whether that process of learning begins with our being dressed in clothes traditionally associated with our sex (blue for males and pink for females), or being discouraged from playing with a toy not associated with our sex (dolls for boys, guns for girls), the learning of our genders begins at some point. Once it's begun (usually within our families), society reinforces the gender behaviors we learn. Despite some parents' best efforts to not impose gender expectations on their children, we all know what is expected of our individual gender.

Although there is an endless supply of forces imposing influence on our gender development, our parents are generally believed to be the strongest. They provide the earliest foundation upon which gender socialization is created. A child's gender development is thought to be affected by their parents in four ways. First, parents provide their children with gender-stereotyped day to day activities, toys, or chores, all of which shape the gendered attributes of the child. Second, interactions between parents and children tend to differ between daughters and sons. Generally, a boy will receive more engaging, hands-on styles of play while a girl will be approached in a more conversational manner. Third, parents provide the first impression of what gender roles are for their child. For example, if a child grows up in a setting where their father is always doing yard work and playing sports while their mother is always cooking and cleaning, they will think these are the standard gender roles of men and women. Finally, verbal messages conveyed directly to the child support or discourage certain gender ideals. When parents say things like "boys don't cry," or "girls don't hit," they are reaffirming stereotypical gendered roles within our society. Furthermore, parents can verbally influence their child's gender socialization without speaking to them directly, in instances such as criticizing the behavior of another person.

Gender is symbolic because it is learned and expressed through language and behavior. Language is central to the way we learn and performe gender through communicative acts because language is social and symbolic. Remember what we learned in chapter two, that language is symbolic because the word "man" isn't a real man. It is a symbol that identifies the physical entity that is a human male. So, when a mother says to her children, "Be a good girl and help me bake cookies," or "Boys don't cry" children are learning through symbols (language) how to "be" their gender. The toys we are given, the colors our rooms are painted, and the after-school activities in which we are encouraged to participate are all symbolic ways we internalize, and ultimately act out, our gender identity.

Finally, gender communication is cultural. Meanings for masculinity and femininity, and ways of communicating those identities, are largely determined by culture. A culture is made up of belief systems, values, and behaviors that support a particular ideology or social system. How we communicate our gender is influenced by the values and beliefs of our particular culture. What is considered appropriate gender behavior in one culture may be looked down upon in another. In America, women often wear shorts and tank tops to keep cool in the summer. Think back to summer vacations to popular American tourist destinations where casual dress is the norm. If you were to travel to Rome, Italy to visit the Vatican, this style of dress is not allowed. There, women are expected to dress in more formal attire, to reveal less skin, and to cover their hair as a display of respect. Not only does culture influence how we communicate gender identities, it also influences the interpretation, understanding, or judgment of the gender displays of others. Additionally, popular media, such as commercials and catalogs can dictate how culture communicates gender roles.