Comparing the Support in Two Similar Paragraphs

Answer Key

Paragraph A

What are some questions you might have as a reader of the above paragraph?  Where does the author need to be more specific? 

How short is the walk?  Why is it great not having a long commute?  "Some people" like who? What other "stuff" do you have to do and how is it not stressful? Who are some of the coworkers you have been hanging out with? What interests do you have in common? Who are some of the nice regular customers? What kind of gifts do they bring?

Paragraph B

How is this second paragraph better? You might identify how this second paragraph is utilizing those suggestions on how to be specific.

"only one block" and "I can walk to work in four or maybe five minutes" – specific amounts

"I can pack a perfect espresso shot and can even swirl a design into the foam" – specific example

"One customer even told me, 'I make a special trip…" – using a direct quote

"I have become really close with Elena and Jose" – specific names

"seeing the new Star Wars movie" – specific example

"Vahid works in a flower shop… Lauren spends hours…" – specific names