Show Respect

If you do not respect the person to whom you are speaking, your language and your non-verbal communication will communicate that. Showing disrespect for somebody will remove their respect for you. People who do not respect one another cannot communicate effectively and may reach the point where they cannot communicate with each other at all. Whatever personal feelings you have about co-workers, you need to communicate effectively with them in order to do your job efficiently and safely. Do not start off on the wrong foot by showing a lack of respect.

This applies to anybody in the company, whether it is your supervisor, somebody who works under you, or somebody who works in another area of the company.

Showing respect for somebody is not difficult. If you treat people how you would like to be treated, respectful communication will come naturally. Here are some additional guidelines to maintain respectful relationships:

  • Acknowledge other people's presence with a "hello" or a smile even when you do not need to speak with them
  • Remember their names
  • Listen when they speak
  • Do not intimidate them or make them feel uncomfortable
  • Show honesty and consistency
  • Show agreement when possible
  • Say thank you often
  • Offer your help
  • Ask advice
  • Avoid status battles

A smile is powerful non-verbal communication. A smile welcomes people and makes them feel at ease. It suggests that you do not have bad feelings about them, and that you are willing to listen. A smile acknowledges the presence of others when you do not have time to ask how they are doing or if they are speaking to someone else while you pass by (Figure 9).

Figure 9. A smile is welcoming.

A person's name is central to her or his identity. Greet people by name whenever you can. This will show that you have made the effort to remember who they are, and that you acknowledge their existence. If you have trouble remembering people's names, get into the habit of repeating the name several times to yourself right after you first hear it. You can try to associate names with some aspect of appearance or with another person you know who has the same name. You can write the name down. You can concentrate only on the first name to make remembering it easier. If you know you have to go and see a person whose name you cannot remember, ask somebody what it is.

In Canada today, most people prefer to be called by their first name rather than by their last name or by a title. However, some people prefer more formality. If your boss wants to be called Ms. Lee or Mr. Johnson, then you should use that name. In many kitchens, it is still the policy to call your supervisor by his or her title; for example, "Good morning, Chef".

Most people like to laugh. Telling harmless jokes is a good way of having fun together and can help to build a team atmosphere in your workplace. However, jokes that are in poor taste or make fun of people will probably have the opposite effect. Even if the person you are joking about laughs, it does not mean that he or she enjoys the experience. The person may feel awkward about saying anything, but you should know that jokes of this nature can be intimidating and make people feel ill at ease.

Get into the habit of thanking people. Say thank you when they do something for you or bring something to your attention. Thanking people encourages them to do more of the same and makes them feel good about talking with you. Not thanking people when they deserve it will have the opposite effect.

Showing agreement is a good way of making people feel good about talking with you. You do not need to agree with a person's argument in order to agree with some of his or her statements. You can encourage a person to keep speaking by nodding your head or by saying "yes" to show that you are paying attention.

You will need the help of other people to do your job. Even if it is their job to help you, the way you communicate and establish a working relationship with them will influence how willingly they help you. It pays to help those people from whom you need help. In that way, the help is not all one way.

As long as a statement is a sincere offer of help, the other person will feel less imposed upon. For example, you need the skills of the hotel's maintenance engineer to repair a faulty ventilation fan in the kitchen. The engineer can do the job alone. You could describe the problem and go do something else. Or you could describe the problem and offer your assistance. The second option shows that you are willing to help, and that you value the work enough to offer your time. You can make people who work for you feel appreciated by asking their advice. Even if you do not act on the advice, you will make that person feel like part of a team. They will be more likely to ask your advice when they need it.

One of the obstacles to communication is believing that the actions of others are attempts to get the better of you. With this kind of attitude, it is easy to interpret all communication in terms of motives and status battles. Keep in mind that the other people are probably as preoccupied with their own situations as you are; they probably do not think about you very much at all. If you find it difficult to accept people's communication at face value, try going through a few days without assigning any motives to anybody. You will find that communications are much easier as a result.