BUS605: Strategic Project Management

You may be an active listener, but what if the speakers are not good communicators? They may repeat themselves or go on and on about insignificant things. They may have a poor grasp of English or fill their talk with meaningless words. They may be too shy to come out and say what their real problem is.

Some people will repeat themselves because they want to emphasize what they are saying. Others repeat themselves as a cue for you to start speaking. This is a characteristic of some cultures where interrupting others is regarded as normal and not impolite. As an active listener you should keep speakers focused on their subject. If they start to repeat themselves, you can say, for example, "Yes, I understand that," and ask a question that moves the conversation forward. If they go on about insignificant things, you will need to find out whether they just want to talk, or if they are having difficulty in saying what they need to. You could ask, for example, "How does this relate to the problem in the company?" or, "Is this part of the same problem that we were discussing, or a separate problem?"

When it is clear that the speaker just wants to talk for the sake of talking, you will have to judge whether you have time to chat.

If you do not have time, you will have to let the speaker know. You could say, for example, "I have to get back to work now, but let's talk again later". If you do have time, such conversations are a good opportunity to get to know the speaker and establish a better understanding of his or her personality and background. You can respond with similar information about yourself, so that the other person gets to know you better.

People will appreciate if you remember details of their personal life, such as the names of their children, or what sports they enjoy. They will not appreciate hearing detailed accounts of your personal problems. If a speaker is inclined to tell you too much of a personal nature, you should politely make it clear that you are not a willing listener. You could say, for example, "I'd rather not hear about your operation".

Some people who are poor communicators may rarely speak. When they do speak, they may appear angry or disrespectful to you. Keep your focus. Ask yourself why this person has decided to speak to you now. They may seem angry or disrespectful, but they may still have a message. Ignore the poor communication skills and ask questions that help determine what they really want to say.

Let's take an example of a restaurant manager who rarely speaks to you. The manager grabs your arm as you pass by and says, "What's with the salad bar today; was there a special on wilted lettuce?" The communication is poor; you do not really know what the manager is talking about. You could be insulted by this comment as a reflection on how you are doing your job. On the other hand, there may be valuable information to learn. Find out by asking, "Is there a problem with wilted lettuce in the salads?" It may be that the manager has noticed a problem that is reducing the quality of the lettuce in the salad bar.

By finding out what the comment is really about, you may be able to deal with a problem that you had not noticed. As you show your willingness to listen, the people you listen to will show a greater willingness to speak. They will tell you about problems that they notice sooner. On the other hand, if you take poor communications personally and respond by ignoring or insulting the person, those people are less likely to speak to you.