Conflict and Interpersonal Communication
Read this section to define interpersonal conflict, compare and contrast the five styles of interpersonal conflict management, explain how perception and culture influence interpersonal conflict, and list strategies for effectively managing conflict. For the time being, skip the "Culture and Conflict" section, which we will cover in Unit 6.
Accommodating
The
accommodating conflict management style indicates a low concern for
self and a high concern for other and is often viewed as passive or
submissive, in that someone complies with or obliges another without
providing personal input. The context for and motivation behind
accommodating play an important role in whether or not it is an
appropriate strategy. Generally, we accommodate because we are being
generous, we are obeying, or we are yielding. If we are being generous, we accommodate because
we genuinely want to; if we are obeying, we don't have a choice but to
accommodate (perhaps due to the potential for negative consequences or
punishment); and if we yield, we may have our own views or goals but
give up on them due to fatigue, time constraints, or because a better
solution has been offered. Accommodating can be appropriate when there
is little chance that our own goals can be achieved, when we don't have
much to lose by accommodating, when we feel we are wrong, or when
advocating for our own needs could negatively affect the
relationship. The occasional accommodation can be useful in maintaining a
relationship - remember earlier we discussed putting another's needs
before your own as a way to achieve relational goals. For example, Rosa
may say, "It's OK that you gave Casey some extra money; she did have to
spend more on gas this week since the prices went up". However, being a
team player can slip into being a pushover, which people generally do
not appreciate. If Rosa keeps telling D'Shaun, "It's OK this time," they
may find themselves short on spending money at the end of the month. At
that point, Rosa and D'Shaun's conflict may escalate as they question
each other's motives, or the conflict may spread if they direct their
frustration at Casey and blame it on her irresponsibility.
Research
has shown that the accommodating style is more likely to occur when
there are time restraints and less likely to occur when someone does not
want to appear weak. If you're standing outside the movie
theatre and two movies are starting, you may say, "Let's just have it
your way," so you don't miss the beginning. If you're a new manager at
an electronics store and an employee wants to take Sunday off to watch a
football game, you may say no to set an example for the other
employees. As with avoiding, there are certain cultural influences we
will discuss later that make accommodating a more effective strategy.