Activity: Non-active Wording

Read this section to learn about three types of non-active wording that should be avoided to have quality and impactful diction and get some practice correcting sentences with these types of issues.

Non-Active Wording Definition and Revision Activity

A final issue when it comes to diction is avoiding non-active wording such as passive voice, unnecessary verbs of being, and nominalizations (noun constructions substituting for verbs). Our language is very much action driven – actions tend to be more interesting than nouns, so to really have strong diction that makes our writing jump off the page, we want to keep our sentences active.

Passive voice means that the subject of a sentence is not doing the verb. For example, instead of saying, "The dog chased the ball" (active voice), passive voice would say, "The ball was chased by the dog". Passive voice should generally be avoided because it can make writing dull and flat sounding. It can also add unnecessary words to a sentence. Here are some examples of passive voice sentences and how they can be revised.

Passive

The essay was written by me.

Revised (active)

I wrote the essay.

Passive

In the winter, protection from cold winds is found by the moose by gathering together in the woods and swamps.

Revised (active)

In the winter, moose find protection from cold winds by gathering together in the woods and swamps.

Passive

If budget allocations for this fund are to be generated solely by federal income tax, a six-fold increase would be required.

Revised (active)

If federal income tax alone is to generate budget allocations for this fund, taxes will have to increase six-fold.

*With this last example in particular, notice how much easier it is to understand the sentence using active voice.

While verbs of being (also called linking verbs) such as "is, was, were, are, am, be" are incredibly useful and certainly not bad words to use, it is important to avoid overusing them. Generally, if you are using a verb of being with a verb of action that ends in "ing," you can often cut the verb of being and just use the proper form of the action verb. Here is an example sentence with revision:

Verb of Being: There are moose living in northern regions throughout the world.

Revised: Moose live in northern regions throughout the world.

Nominalizations are when verbs are changed into nouns and they can take away from the vividness or strength of your writing. While such noun usage is not necessarily incorrect, you should always look at such sentences to see if they could be improved. By using verbs instead of nouns, you focus on actions instead of on things; this moves the writing along and makes it more interesting to read. Here are some examples of nominalizations:

Nominalization	Revised
had expectations that	expected
placed a call	called
give notice	notify
make a recommendation	recommend
make an argument	argue
make a payment	pay
place emphasis on	emphasize
make an assumption	assume
provide an explanation	explain
take into consideration	consider
come to a resolution	resolve
be in violation	violate
conduct an analysis	analyze
perform a review	review

Rewrite the following sentences so they use more active language. It's ok to change the wording if you need to, but make sure your rewrite contains the same information and meaning as the original.

An annex to the existing learning center will be built by the college in order to better help students.
Since no one else would do it, the oven was cleaned by me.
Hawa's group made the argument that there are more deaths that result from poor diet than all the drug over-doses added together.
Please take into consideration that there are endangered species existing all over the planet.
The proposal placed emphasis on the importance of long term goals over short term profits.

Source: Erin Severs
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