BUS403: Negotiations and Conflict Management

Four Keys to Resolving Conflicts in the Workplace

If there is one chore I could do without, it is having to shop at the grocery store. I am not sure if it is because I always feel like a mouse in a maze trying to find the items on the grocery list (the logic of grocery store layouts still alludes me) or because standing in line waiting to pay for your groceries seems to take longer than any other check-out line. Regardless of the reason, a recent trip to one of our nearby grocery stores resulted in an unexpected – and pleasant – surprise in how it provided both an excellent example and inspiration on how to effectively resolve conflicts in the workplace.

After working through the various grocery aisles and finding most of the items on my grocery list (it always seems that there's one item I can never find in the store but which my wife could find with her eyes closed), I headed toward the front of the store and stood in one of the check-out lines to pay for my groceries. As I waited in line, the cashier began scanning the various items the woman in front of me had placed on the conveyor belt. All of the sudden, she was stopped by this customer who pointed out that one item had registered at a higher price than what she saw on the shelf.

Following the typical response to such situations, the cashier called one of the nearby stock boys to go and verify the price that was written on the shelf for this item while she continued to process the woman's purchases. Within a minute or two, the stock boy returned confirming that the price listed on the monitor was the same as what was written on the shelf.

Now, no matter how many times you have shopped at the grocery store, this is no doubt a scenario that you have witnessed or had to endure at one point or another. In fact, judging from the pained looks on the faces of those standing behind me, all of us had a pretty good idea of what was about to happen next.

Sure enough, the woman began to let out a tirade, blaming the cashier's employer for trying to "steal money from their customers, advertising one thing and charging another." As the woman went on and on, I awaited the cashier's curt response spoken in a tone of how she is not paid enough to have to listen to such negativity and blame for something that is not of her doing.

And yet, as my glance shifted from this enraged woman in front of me to the cashier, I saw something unexpected – the cashier was not tuning the woman out. Instead, she was clearly listening quite intently to every word that was being spoken.

Then, when the woman paused in her rant, either because she ran out of things to say or maybe just to catch her breath, this was how the cashier responded:

"Ma'am, I am sorry to hear that you are having this problem. Unfortunately, as I told you, both the computer and the pricing on the shelf state that this is the price for this item. Now I understand if you do not want to buy this because it is not at the price you thought it was. If I recall, there is another brand which I think is somewhat cheaper than this. If you would like, I can ask the stock boy to get that item to replace these ones. I wish I could give you these items for the price you thought, but this is the only offer that is within my responsibility to give. Would you like me to do that?"

I think everyone within earshot was stunned and amazed by this cashier's response to this woman's confrontational stance, including the woman herself as her posture and demeanour seemed to deflate slightly upon hearing the cashier's suggestion. In the end, the woman simply muttered that she was going to pass, paid for her groceries and left.

As I stepped forward to prepare for my purchase, the cashier without skipping a beat gave me a friendly greeting and began scanning my items as if nothing had happened. I could not help but be impressed with both with her professionalism and ease with which she handled the situation, a point I made sure to tell this young woman. The cashier looked at me and shrugged her shoulders, telling me how her job is not only "helping customers get their grocery purchases completed quickly, but to make sure they get the items they came here to get." I think there can be little doubt that this young woman has a bright future ahead of her.

While this cashier certainly displayed all the characteristics of providing exceptional customer service, thanks to her seeing a deeper meaning and purpose to her role within her organization, her handling of this disgruntled customer provides four key points on how to successfully manage those situations where we unexpectedly find ourselves in conflict with someone else in the workplace.

1. Never Assume You Know What the Other Person is Objecting To

When we rely on assumptions about the other party, we are more likely to escalate the situation because whatever "solutions" we offer are only going to make the other party feel unheard or worse, that what they are really upset about is not as important as what we think is required here.

When this woman began her rant about being overcharged for this item, I am sure many people began making assumptions about what she was after or what emotional baggage she brought into the store that day with her. The cashier, though, clearly made no assumptions about what was behind the woman's emotional outburst. As such, she was more present and able to actually hear what the woman was complaining about and consequently, was able to offer her customer an alternative that might help address her problem instead of simply passing it off to someone else to handle.

2. Do Not Forget Your Role within the Team

Whenever a conflict arises between two people or groups of individuals, one common outcome is for both parties to begin drawing lines in the sand, marking off what they perceive as being rightfully theirs.

This response inevitably leads to turf wars and people obsessing over details or actions that have little impact or bearing on what is their responsibility to manage or oversee. Not only does this approach make us unreceptive to hearing the concerns/issues the other party might have, but it also limits us from recognizing what is within our sphere of responsibility to address as a member of our organization.

In the case of the cashier, she understood that the price items are sold at in the grocery store is outside of her responsibility and as such, she did not get into an arguing match with this woman about it. At the same time, she knew that it was within her abilities to find an alternate product that she could offer this customer in place of the item in question.

Having a similar focus about what is within your role or responsibilities to address will not only help you understand what your part might be in any given conflict, but also what you can offer or suggest to help resolve the situation.

3. Resolving Conflicts Does Not Have to Mean a Win/Lose Outcome

One of the reasons most of us avoid conflicts is not simply because of how unpleasant they can be, but also because of the fear that being involved in such confrontations requires us to fight for what is ours or otherwise we run the risk of losing it.

Of course, going in with the attitude that one of you will win and the other will lose is not only counter-productive, but it also runs the risk of escalating the confrontation as it encourages both parties to dig their heels into the ground instead of trying to gain some common understanding of each party's perception of the situation.

This is why the cashier was so effective in handling this difficult customer – she did not see the situation as a win/lose proposition. Instead, she simply saw a customer who had an issue with one of their products and as such, was trying to help come up with a solution to address this woman's problem.

4. Once the Conflict is Resolved, Put it Past You and Return to What Needs to be Done

When it comes to the end of a conflict, it is only natural for us to want to retreat to a safe corner and regroup so that we can reflect and review on what is transpired and what we can do to ensure the same problem does not flare up again. Where we run into problems, though, is when we start to sulk and obsess negatively over what happened and who said what.

The problem with this is that it not only colours our perception of how we will view future interactions with the individual(s) we had the conflict with, but it can also seep into how we interact and communicate with others as well.

Going back to the cashier, I do not think any of us waiting in line would have been surprised to be on the receiving end of some curt and dour responses from this cashier after the tongue-lashing she got from the previous customer. And yet, not only had she resolved the conflict, she had clearly moved on understanding that she had other customers she needed to serve for the remainder of her shift.

I am sure the ease with which she both dealt with and moved past this conflict had a big impact not only on how she approached her job for the rest of her work shift, but also on how she interacted with the other customers and store employees.

In the end, the simple truth is that all of us will find ourselves once again in the midst of a confrontation, brought on by the actions/words spoken by another, or by our own desire or needs to address a wrong we see happening around us. When those moments happen, we need to remind ourselves that they do not have to be be negative or damaging to the relationships we have with others.

Instead, as this cashier at the grocery store demonstrated, confrontations can be used as an opportunity to open the lines of communication to get a better understanding of the issues those around us face, if not also how much easier it is to overcome them by working together instead of drawing lines in the sand.

Source: Tanveer Naseer, https://tanveernaseer.com/how-to-manage-workplace-conflicts/
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