Rules for Effective Intelligence Writing
This was the world's first style manual for intelligence analysts in the
civilian world in 2008 and is still one of the best. Without
standardized language within your organization, communication among
analysts and decision-makers will remain ambiguous. It is
important to agree on a confidence scale, so your decision-makers know
how confident you are of your findings, the calculation of which will
include consideration of source.
Rule 1. Put Your Main Point Up Front
Inform the reader of the key points in the first or second paragraph.
2. Create a clear, descriptive title, written as a noun phrase.
SUBJECT: SARS: Lessons From the First Epidemic of the 21st Century (29 Sep 03)
3. Describe your purpose in writing. In a formal statement of purpose, announce your reason for writing (if it's already clear from the title, omit this formal statement).
Purpose. To tell you about the upcoming change to . …
Purpose. To explain how we'll . …
4. Put your BLUF at the beginning of your paper.
a. Position key information at the beginning for a quick understanding.
b. If no single key idea stands out, create one so your paper doesn't wander aimlessly.
Increasing numbers of mass incidents are likely to destabilize Chinese society.
The Czech Republic is likely to adopt the euro in the next five years.
c. After you present your main ideas, present your supporting information in short, organized paragraphs under clear, logical headings.
Executive Summary (key findings)
Discussion
Comments
Optional:
Summary of Main Points........General Discussion of Ideas
Rule 2. Write Short Paragraphs
1. Short, well-developed paragraphs keep the reader's interest and reduce the overload of information for the reader.
a. Keep paragraphs to no more than six typed lines long.
b. Start each paragraph with the key point or a topic sentence.
c. Use subparagraphs and lists when possible.
d. Maintain grammatical parallelism.
(1) Keep items in a series or list grammatically balanced.
(2) Create like grammatical constructions.
(3) Ensure that if you have a "1" you also have a "2".
(4) Ensure that if you have an "a" you also have a "b".
2. This is an example of the structure of a typical paragraph:
Sentence 1: Topic sentence (the controlling idea of the paragraph).
Sentence 2: Explanation/elaboration of the topic sentence (if needed).
Sentence 3: Fact/example/illustration #1 to support the topic sentence.
Sentence 4: Fact/example/illustration #2 to support the topic sentence.
Sentence 5: Analysis (a sentence that answers the question "so what?").
3. The paragraphs below show the same information presented in letter (or essay) style and in memorandum style:
a. Letter or essay style.
Cold
weather training is important to our success in winter combat.
Specifically, we must prepare our men and equipment for winter
conditions. Our soldiers must learn how to cope with the cold and
prevent injury. They also need to know how their equipment holds up in
cold temperatures. If we train them now, they'll be ready for combat
during the winter.
b. Memorandum style.
Reasons for cold weather training.
b. To show them how their equipment holds up in the cold.
c. To ensure their success in winter combat.
Parallel:
Two traits of a strong leader are a dedication to the accomplishment of the mission and a strong sense of caring for the welfare of subordinates.
Not Parallel:
Two traits of a strong leader are dedication to the accomplishment of the mission and to care for the welfare of subordinates.
Rule 3. Use Active Voice.
1. Create mostly active sentences. To write in the active voice, put the doer of the action at the front of the sentence.
Active: Jones is showing the general around the unit.
Active: Smith will teach the maintenance class.
2. Avoid writing in the passive voice. If the receiver of the action in a sentence is up front, the sentence will be passive. Note that passive sentences aren't necessarily in the past tense. They can be in the past, present, or future tenses.
Passive: The general is being shown the training by Jones.
Passive: The class on maintenance will be taught by Smith.
3. Spot passive sentences by analyzing the verb (the form of "to be"). A passive verb phrase ALWAYS has these two parts:
| A FORM OF "TO BE" |
and | A PAST PARTICIPLE |
|---|---|---|
| am, is, are, |
A verb that ends in -d -n, or –t |
|
| was, were, be, been, being |
Examples: picked, told, given, shown, taught, hit |
|
| Note: "will, has, have, had" are not forms of "be" |
A verb ending in "ing" is a present participle. |
Examples:
Passive: I am required by the first sergeant to report by 0630.
Passive: The weekly report will be written tomorrow by the clerk.
Passive: The truck was hit yesterday by the tractor.
Passive: I am required by the supervisor to report by noon.
Passive: The weekly report will be written tomorrow by the clerk.
Passive: The truck was hit yesterday by the tractor.
4. Use one of three techniques to change passive sentences to the active:
a. Put the doer up front:
Passive: The report was submitted by Jones.
Active: Jones submitted the report.
b. Drop part of the verb:
Passive: The meeting was held at the hotel.
Active: The meeting was at the hotel.
c. Change the verb:
Passive: He will be required to attend.
Active: He will have to attend.
Rule 4. Use Short, Conventional Words.
1. Use conventional language as much as possible.
a. Use plain English that's alive. Strive for a conversational tone.
b. Use personal pronouns (I, you, he, she, we, they, us, them) instead of stuffy nouns (this office, all personnel, this headquarters).
c. Try some contractions (I'm, you're, can't, won't).
2. Limit long words to 15 percent of your total. Mark the long words (three or more syllables) and replace them with short words that carry the same meaning.
Long words: initiate terminate promulgate installation
Short words: start end issue post
3. Use precise, concrete words rather than vague, abstract ones.
Weak: The applicant's signature on this correspondence is required.
Better: Please sign in Block 9.
4. Cut the confusing jargon and double-talk.
|
Weak |
Strong |
|
to plus up |
to increase |
|
downsized |
smaller |
|
civilian residence |
home |
|
it's a nonstarter |
it won't work |
|
mission accomplishment |
success |
|
incomplete success |
failure |
5. Eliminate legalese:
|
Weak |
Strong |
|
Herewith enclosed is |
Here's |
|
It is incumbent on you |
You must |
Rule 5. Write Short Sentences.
1. Keep most sentences between 12 and 20 words. Strive for an average of about 15 words per sentence. In general, limit each sentence to what you can say aloud in one breath.
2. Shorten needlessly wordy expressions. Strive to cut 30 percent of the words you wrote in the draft.
Wordy: Due to the fact that most writers have a tendency
to be wordy, we can probably cut approximately 30 percent of the words
in a first draft without really affecting the meaning to any serious
extent.
Better: Because we tend to be wordy, cut 30 percent of your first draft. It probably won't affect the meaning.
3. Avoid wordy, smothered verbs (also called "buried verbs").
|
Smothered |
Un-smothered |
|
make a decision |
decide |
|
give a call to |
call |
|
conduct an inspection |
inspect |
Repetitious
His duties and responsibilities
Please review and comment
The importance and significance of
Better
His duties
Please comment
The significance of
5. Cut sentence stretchers (it is, there is, there are, that, which)
Wordy
It is required that you attend the class.
There is a meeting for them tonight.
There are many solutions to the problem.
His plan is the one that we support.
Better
You must attend the class.
They must meet tonight.
The problem has many solutions.
We support his plan.
6. Ask questions occasionally for emphasis.
Weak: Request that this headquarters be informed whether the conference has been rescheduled.
Better: Has the conference been rescheduled?
Rule 6. Be Correct, Credible, and Complete.
1. Errors in spelling, punctuation, grammar, and usage many times cause confusion and/or distract the reader. In most cases, you lose credibility. To gain the reader's confidence, make sure your work is generally free of mistakes.
2. Use correct spelling, punctuation, grammar, and word usage.
a. Use standard written English and the conventions of proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar.
b. Consult the dictionary to ensure unfamiliar words are spelled correctly.
3. Be thorough, factual, and logical.
a. Make sure your paper is complete in presenting all necessary information.
b. Make sure your facts are correct.
c. Check the logic and objectivity of your writing.
4. Make sure your paper is neat and legible. Don't make a poor impression with sloppy work.
Source: Mercyhurst College Institute for Intelligence Studies, https://www.mercyhurst.edu/sites/default/files/glazed-cms-media/the_analysts_style_manual_iismu_0.pdf
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