Conflict Management
Tips for Managing Interpersonal Conflict
- Do not view the conflict as a contest you are trying to win.
- Distinguish the person or people from the problem. (Do not make it personal, and do not engage in blaming and name-calling.)
- Determine what underlying needs may be driving the other person's demands (sometimes, needs can still be met differently).
- Identify areas of common ground or shared interests that you can work from to develop solutions.
- Ask questions to allow them to clarify and to help you understand their perspective.
- Listen carefully and provide verbal and nonverbal feedback.
- Remain flexible and realize there may be solutions yet to be discovered.
Key Takeaways
Interpersonal conflict is an inevitable part of relationships that, although not always negative, can take an emotional toll on relational partners unless they develop skills and strategies for managing it.
Although there is no absolute right or wrong way to handle a conflict, there are five predominant styles of conflict management, which are competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and collaborating.
Key Terms
- accommodating
- arranged marriages
- avoiding (as a means of managing conflict)
- collaborating
- competing
- compromising
- conflict
- confirming climate
- disconfirming climate
- family
- friendship
- interpersonal communication
- interpersonal conflict
- Johari Window: open, hidden, blind, and unknown panes
- navigating
- proximity
- relationship dialectics
- romantic relationships
- waning stage of friendship
Summary
Interpersonal communication is communication between two or more individuals engaged in a personal relationship. Quite often, interpersonal communication occurs in pairs, but a small family unit could also engage in interpersonal communication. In order for a close relationship to develop, participants must engage in self-disclosure.
As we navigate our interpersonal relationships, we create communication climates, which are the overall feelings and moods people have for one another and the relationship. When we engage in disconfirming messages, we produce a negative relational climate, while confirming messages can help build a positive relational climate by recognizing the uniqueness and importance of another person.
The three primary types of interpersonal relationships we engage in are friendships, romantic relationships, and family relationships. Each of these relationships develops through a series of stages. Friendships and romantic relationships differ from family relationships because they are relationships of choice. We manage our relationships by negotiating dialectical tensions, which are opposing needs in interpersonal relationships.
Finally, all relationships experience conflict. Conflict is often perceived as an indicator that there is a problem in a relationship. However, conflict is a natural and ongoing part of all relationships. The goal for conflict is not to eliminate it, but to manage it. There are five primary approaches to managing conflict which include competing, accommodating, compromising, avoiding, and collaborating.