Conflict-Handling Modes
The Thomas Kilmann conflict mode instrument, or TKI, is frequently
used in conflict resolution training and identifies five distinct modes
that people use to handle conflict (Thomas & Kilman). Understanding
your conflict handling style may help you handle future conflicts more
effectively.
- Avoiding - usually indicates the person who is
avoiding is low on the assertiveness scale and is low on the
cooperativeness scale. That means that the avoider doesn't take care of
his/her needs and doesn't really help the other person either. The
avoider would prefer to be somewhere else when conflict occurs.
- Accommodating - usually indicates the person who is
accommodating is low on the assertiveness scale and is high on the
cooperativeness scale. That means that the accommodater doesn't take
care of his/her needs but sacrifices personal needs to cooperate and
satisfy the other person.
- Competing - usually indicates the person who is
competing is high on the assertiveness scale and is low on the
cooperativeness scale. That means that the competitor takes care of
his/her needs first. The competitor cares very little for the needs of
others, does not try to cooperate, and wants to win.
- Compromising - usually indicates the person who is
compromising is at the mid-point on the assertiveness scale and the
mid-point on the cooperativeness scale. That means that the compromiser
tries to find middle-ground by taking care of his/her needs as well as
the needs of others. The compromiser does try to cooperate but not at
his/her personal expense.
- Collaborating - usually indicates the person who is
collaborating is high on the assertiveness scale and high on the
cooperativeness scale. The collaborator takes care of his/her needs as
well as the needs of others without compromising, or giving something
up. The collaborator tries to understand where the other person is
coming from so that a win-win situation is achieved, where neither party
loses anything. Collaboration is the best way to manage conflict but it
is also the most time-consuming.
