Read this section, which focuses on two concepts: the monologue we have with ourselves that influences our external reactions and how the way we see ourselves can be described along four dimensions of awareness. After you read, try the exercises at the end of the section.
Learning Objective
- Define and discuss self-concept.
Again
we'll return to the question "what are you doing?" as one way to
approach self-concept. If we define ourselves through our actions, what
might those actions be, and are we no longer ourselves when we no longer
engage in those activities? Psychologist Steven Pinker defines the
conscious present as about three seconds for most people. Everything
else is past or future. Who are you
at this moment in time, and will the self you become an hour from now be
different from the self that is reading this sentence right now?
Just
as the communication process is dynamic, not static (i.e., always
changing, not staying the same), you too are a dynamic system.
Physiologically your body is in a constant state of change as you inhale
and exhale air, digest food, and cleanse waste from each cell.
Psychologically you are constantly in a state of change as well. Some
aspects of your personality and character will be constant, while others
will shift and adapt to your environment and context. That complex
combination contributes to the self you call you. We may choose to
define self as one's own sense of individuality, personal
characteristics, motivations, and actions, but any
definition we create will fail to capture who you are, and who you will
become.
Self-Concept
Our
self-concept is "what we perceive ourselves to be," and involves aspects of image and esteem. How we see
ourselves and how we feel about ourselves influences how we communicate
with others. What you are thinking now and how you communicate impacts
and influences how others treat you. Charles Cooley calls this concept the looking-glass self. We look at how others treat
us, what they say and how they say it, for clues about how they view us
to gain insight into our own identity. Leon Festinger added that we
engage in social comparisons, evaluating ourselves in relation to our
peers of similar status, similar characteristics, or similar
qualities.
The
ability to think about how, what, and when we think, and why, is
critical to intrapersonal communication. Animals may use language and
tools, but can they reflect on their own thinking? Self-reflection is a
trait that allows us to adapt and change to our context or environment,
to accept or reject messages, to examine our concept of ourselves and
choose to improve.
Internal
monologue refers to the self-talk of intrapersonal communication. It
can be a running monologue that is rational and reasonable, or
disorganized and illogical. It can interfere with listening to others,
impede your ability to focus, and become a barrier to effective
communication. Alfred Korzybski suggested that the first step in
becoming conscious of how we think and communicate with ourselves was to
achieve an inner quietness, in effect "turning off" our internal
monologue. Learning to be quiet
inside can be a challenge. We can choose to listen to others when they
communicate through the written or spoken word while refraining from
preparing our responses before they finish their turn is essential. We
can take mental note of when we jump to conclusions from only partially
attending to the speaker or writer's message. We can choose to listen to
others instead of ourselves.
One
principle of communication is that interaction is always dynamic and
changing. That interaction can be internal, as in intrapersonal
communication, but can also be external. We may communicate with one
other person and engage in interpersonal communication. If we engage two
or more individuals (up to eight normally), group communication is the
result. More than eight normally results in subdivisions within the
group and a reversion to smaller groups of three to four members due to the ever-increasing complexity of the communication
process. With each new person comes a multiplier effect on the number of
possible interactions, and for many that means the need to establish
limits.
Dimensions of Self
Who
are you? You are more than your actions, and more than your
communication, and the result may be greater than the sum of the parts,
but how do you know yourself? In the first of the Note 16.1
"Introductory Exercises" for this chapter, you were asked to define
yourself in five words or less. Was it a challenge? Can five words
capture the essence of what you consider yourself to be? Was your twenty
to fifty description easier? Or was it equally challenging? Did your
description focus on your characteristics, beliefs, actions, or other
factors associated with you? If you compared your results with
classmates or coworkers, what did you observe? For many, these exercises
can prove challenging as we try to reconcile the self-concept we
perceive with what we desire others to perceive about us, as we try to
see ourselves through our interactions with others, and as we come to
terms with the idea that we may not be aware or know everything there is
to know about ourselves.
Joseph
Luft and Harry Ingram gave considerable thought and attention to these
dimensions of self, which are represented in Figure 16.1 "Luft and
Ingram's Dimensions of Self". In the first quadrant of the figure,
information is known to you and others, such as your height or weight.
The second quadrant represents things others observe about us that we
are unaware of, like how many times we say "umm" in the space of five
minutes. The third quadrant involves information that you know, but do
not reveal to others. It may involve actively hiding or withholding
information, or may involve social tact, such as thanking your Aunt
Martha for the large purple hat she's given you that you know you will
never wear. Finally, the fourth quadrant involves information that is
unknown to you and your conversational partners. For example, a
childhood experience that has been long forgotten or repressed may still
motivate you. As another example, how will you handle an emergency
after you've received first aid training? No one knows because it has
not happened.
Figure 16.1 Luft and Ingram's Dimensions of Self

These
dimensions of self serve to remind us that we are not fixed - that
freedom to change combined with the ability to reflect, anticipate,
plan, and predict allows us to improve, learn, and adapt to our
surroundings. By recognizing that we are not fixed in our concept of
"self," we come to terms with the responsibility and freedom inherent in
our potential humanity.
In
the context of business communication, the self plays a central role.
How do you describe yourself? Do your career path, job responsibilities,
goals, and aspirations align with what you recognize to be your
talents? How you represent "self," through your résumé, in your writing,
in your articulation and presentation - these all play an important
role as you negotiate the relationships and climate present in any
organization.
Key Takeaway
Self-concept involves multiple dimensions and is expressed in internal monologue and social comparisons.
Exercises
- Examine your academic or professional résumé - or, if you don't have one, create one now. According to the dimensions of self described in this section, which dimensions contribute to your résumé? Discuss your results with your classmates.
- How would you describe yourself in terms of the dimensions of self as shown in Figure 16.1 "Luft and Ingram's Dimensions of Self"? Discuss your thoughts with a classmate.
- Can you think of a job or career that would be a good way for you to express yourself? Are you pursuing that job or career? Why or why not? Discuss your answer with a classmate.
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